Casual relationships are more common than ever. However, it’s important to know that even when you try hard to keep things low key, these relationships can become just the opposite. It’s not uncommon for people to enter into a relationship fully intending to keep things casual only to find they are forced to think again.
The Process of Turning Friends-with-Benefits into Real Relationship
The transition from being friends with benefits to being a couple is not always straightforward, but to stand a chance, both parties have to want to move forward into a committed relationship. Given that you have an arrangement that puts emotion aside, the chances are you have no real idea how your friend feels, so the first thing to do is find out.
The process could go a little easier if you can keep these points in mind
Send Signals: After agreeing to a rule such as not to get emotionally involved can make it hard to reveal you’ve developed feelings. After all, you agreed, and now you are having trouble keeping to your end of the bargain. But emotions don’t play the rules, and sooner or later, you’ll be giving off subliminal signals like fireworks on the 4th of July. It could cost you the whole relationship, but it’s better to find out now by being upfront about your feelings are.
Find Ways to Spend More Time Together: Being with your friend more often will buy you some time to decipher the signals going back and forth between you. The clearer they become, the better you will know where you stand. Instead of an invitation to bed, test the ground with an invitation to dinner or lunch. If you are met with excuses, confusion, or evasion, you know they are not interested in changing your relationship’s parameters.
Talk More: Of course, to send signals you’ve got to be around your FWB, but perhaps because they are not expecting anything from you, you need to push a little harder and be more obvious.
One way to get started is by sending more texts, especially saying how much you’re looking forward to seeing them again and moving things on; and start including more run of the mill messages about how your day is going. It will demonstrate that you are open to letting them into your life and becoming more invested in your relationship.
Make Meeting Up Quality Time: As FWBs you decided to have sex rather than make love, and that was fine, but perhaps now it’s time to light a few candles and break out the romance. Even though you both know what you are meeting up for, slowing things right down and making a night of it can make all the difference.
Start by dressing the stage with the lighting and music, and go for the sensuous with incense and oils, so it’s obvious you’ve more on your mind than a quick fumble.
Is Your Friend with Benefits Falling for You?
People often have trouble reading subtle cues and clues from a special friend wanting something more from their relationship. They are not expecting a change in the game when everything is going so well, so they are not even looking for it. You could be leaving clues left and right, but the fact that the relationship feels so comfortable to them could work to your advantage.
Here are some other signs your partner could develop serious feelings:
● They engage you in more meaningful conversations. They ask relevant questions and actively listen to your thoughts and opinions. Their body language especially can confirm they are interested.
● They compliment you on things that are personal and specific to you, such as your life choices.
● They want to go public and be out as a couple; even want to introduce you to friends and family.
Help Your FWB Fall in Love with You
For sure, there are things you can do to help your FWB find the right path to true love, and one or two might flick the emotional switch instantly. Either way, you will need to start by acknowledging the need to build a different relationship. You’ll have to work on getting to know each other in a new way. It’s important to give yourself time to do this. You need that deeper connection away from the bedroom. Think of it as a fresh start, this time with long chats and good old romance firmly on the list.
The difficulty with the friends with benefits relationship is that it’s relatively rare for both parties to be on the same page. When it does happen, and there are no changes, such relationships can continue for years. Even so, most FWB relationships are short-lived and, sadly, doomed to failure, but there is hope because sometimes, just occasionally, love does win out.